R.I.P. Cheyenne

Cheyenne Heald

Cheyenne Heald

My family is grieving something aweful today. We had to put our family pet to sleep yesterday. She was part of our family for close to 12 years. She was approximately 13 years. old. This photo was taken in our backyard yesterday just a few hours before she passed away. She was deeply loved and will be terribly missed. I may post more to this later, but for now–I’m just too sad. Seeing my children’s faces and holding them as they cried was excruciating for me. It just never gets easy. Life is so hard sometimes.

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8 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Mike
    Jun 19, 2009 @ 19:56:27

    Sorry to hear about your loss. Our pets come into our lives and seem to consume them and the loss especially for children is hard to bear. I just today read your chemo episode. May I offer hope to monitor if the cancer is returning. Go to http://www.beating-cancer-gently.com in the book is a test you can do to see if you have cancer anywhere in your body. I’ve followed the book basically and I’ve used the tests for the last year or so and my numbers are coming down to normal. There is hope and help out there, though not always thru conventional medical people. I’ll try to answer any questions if you’d like.

    Reply

  2. ginny
    Jun 20, 2009 @ 05:53:51

    Dear Justin, Jordan and Jasmine and family,
    …..we are so so sorry you have lost your dear dear friend. Take as long as you need to grieve and enjoy the wonderful memories of your dear friend. He was a beautiful dog and faithful and kind. My grandchildren lost their dear friend, Clancey, back in 2002 and their Dad wrote this poem. We thought it was a great tribute and a good memory:

    Just a Dog by Vince Gramaglia 25 November 2002

    He was just a dog, he had fourteen good years
    I tell myself as I fight back tears.
    I’d been fine till I got to where the grave would be,
    now I start digging
    surprised how much this is affecting me.
    How long does it take to bury a dog?
    Drizzlin’ rain, cloudy sky
    how long does it take to say goodbye?
    I throw the last shovel of dirt
    then I say a prayer-
    “Lord, I don’t know where dogs go when they’re done
    but if there is a place, take care of my dog
    ’cause he was a good one.”

    We still miss Clancey and we have lost pets also but to put the pain on paper helps. The kids still draw pictures of him and we remember what a “good one” he was…..love to all of you in your loss…it is very real….aunt ginny and uncle pete/Colorado

    Reply

  3. ginny
    Jul 14, 2009 @ 06:30:53

    Happy Birthday Christina, July 18th….May your days be filled with family, good health, loving relationships and the GRACE of God. Would love to hear how you are doing. Trusting that things are flowing right along. Here is a rose to pass along…..”The fragrance always remains in the hand that gives the rose”..Heda Bejar and from an eternal perspective (which I choose to live by) “I have set the Lord always before me. Because He is at my right hand, I will not be shaken”. Psalm 16:8
    Love to the family….aunt ginny and uncle pete/colorado ps: I will set a balloon free for you and other family members with July birthdays…..it is wonderful to watch them “fly free”….

    Reply

  4. Angie davis
    Aug 07, 2009 @ 18:01:57

    How are you? I check back here usually daily for updates and hope things are as well as to be expected. Keep the faith. I know its hard. I have stage 4 rheumatoid disease, some days are really bad. My daughter also pulled a similar stint similar to yours, but she ELOPED. And you know, things do have a way of just working themselves out. Its the getting there that will bring you to your knees.

    Reply

    • Christina Heald
      Aug 07, 2009 @ 20:30:02

      Angie–Thanks for checking back–I check back too–but sit and stare at the blank page–I desperately want to write but I am paralyzed with terror over this and my daughter. What I have written i haven’t posted yet–and there’s a lot. I’m trying to process and I don’t think I am able to do that well anymore. Posts are coming. I have added a new photo on the front page with some reflections. Its all I can do to just breathe some days. I’ve created a blogger blog also–same name–but nothing going on there yet–my intentions were to make that one purely about my daughter. I also wanted to play with the layouts and widgets more. I love WordPress, but there are things I want–creatively–that I can’t have here. I’ll keep trying. Then I think I should just put it all on here and create a seperate page about Jasmine so everyone would understand what kind of nightmare our family has been living in all summer and maybe someone would be able to help me understand that as well. One of these battles was enough, but both at once this year has derailed every facet of my life. Thanks for hanging in there with me.

      Reply

  5. Angie davis
    Aug 07, 2009 @ 21:52:49

    I know fear….its strange, the fear and prognosis over my illness doenst compare to the fear, no, sick terror, I felt when I walked in her bedroom 2 years ago to get Lauryn up for school and found that note. We invest so much, mostly emotionally in our kids, and we NEVER saw this coming. Totally blindsided, no warning. But shes been happily married for almost 2 years now so that part of our life’s drama is pretty ok…….but my health has taken a nosedive so its like you fight one dragon back and another one comea at you. Email me sometime when you need to unload, it definitely doesnt have to be perfectly processed, but you have got to talk to somebody that knows at least something about what your going through . My son has an autoimmune illness too, hes 15, and I told my mom yesterday giving it to me was enough, did God really have to make him sick as well? I am a Christian , but I would be lying to you if I didnt tell you I question God-every day.,

    Reply

    • Christina Heald
      Aug 08, 2009 @ 06:34:10

      Thank you, Angie, for caring. My faith in many things, including God, has taken a huge nosedive this year. I felt it happening and started a long bible study class. I enjoyed it very much but had to miss a few here and there because I was sick from the cancer stuff. I did finally become dedicated in our church and I thought that would be the magic answer, but it wasn’t. I bought a new bible and tabbed it and everyone has told me to find solace there, but I don’t. I just feel worn and weary–torn and tattered–and emotionally exhausted. I will check back, but am off to work today. I would love you to share more about your daughter–I’m glad things have calmed a bit for you in that area. I’m so sorry you and your son are fighting illnesses. Its just so hard to accept everything thrown at you sometimes. I know I’ve been sporadic, but I am here–I’ve just been too paralyzed lately to mobilize. Keep prodding me–It may be just what i need.

      Reply

  6. Angie davis
    Aug 09, 2009 @ 10:31:50

    PS I never asked you how did Cheyenne die? She looks like our family dog, Sheena, we lost about 4 years ago. I cried for 2 weeks.

    Reply

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